Dating and lifestyle expert Ms. Cheevious offered E2 this important warning for when the relationship starts heating up: “Having lunch together everyday is about as fun as watching the hourglass on your computer. Time to shut it down baby!” If you can’t stay away from each other for 30 minutes, at least invite some coworkers to join you.
Great job, Dave. Really funny spin on workplace romance. I would only add that, as with your datacenter, you need to have a good Disaster Recovery plan in place in case your office romance goes down in flames. You don't want a romance-gone-wrong to turn your career to ashes in the process.
Disaster recovery for romantic relationships in the workplace should involve some careful planning. Like Susan said, you've already lost your partner. There's no reason to compromise your career in the process.
Great slideshow, @Dave! The Wall Street Journal had an article on a related subject today, and they recommended having employees "docuement" the relationship -- sign a document going in that said the relationship is consensual, defining the process of ending the relationship, requiring documentation of "taking it to the next level" -- all in an attempt to keep the employer from being sued.
This is funny and sad, but at the same time, it also sounds like the smart thing to do. Relationships are already complicated enough as they are. Throw in something like work and that will complicate the heck out of everything by even more.
This may be taking workplace love to an extreme. At one place I worked I inherited a small tech support group of four to manage, 2 men and 2 women. I began noticing that the 2 women and 1 guy were a very close-knit chummy trio. I didn't think much of their relationship since they were all competent in their work. Things seemed to be going fine with my little tech support team so I didn't think much about them.
After a couple of months I began detecting dissension and a snappy attitude among the 3 friends. When I inquired if there were any issues they reported that everything was fine, no problems. However their attitudes continued down an increasingly deeper slope. Unexpected absences, tardiness, and poor performance became habitual. I issued the usual managerial warnings, critiques, and encouragement. Later, one of the women resigned. A bit later, another one bit the dust, eventually the remaining 3rd wheel guy quit.
I was left with the one tech support guy who had not been part of the departeds' clique. I asked him what was going on with the three. His response was, "Didn't you know? They lived together, you know what I mean?" Well, I learned that my three tech support folks had a so-called open relationship. One of the women started seeing a new guy on the outside and that worked as a catalyst to push them down the road of workplace romance perdition.
Yeah this topic?!? I suppose it is a subject we all have had to deal with. I have had office romances, seen office romances...and seen the fall out (both good and bad).
We spend most of our lives at work and around the people at work so the likelihood of finding a mate is a lot higher than just random encounters with the girl in the produce section or the guy at the gym.
Besides, those aren't the best places to get to "know" someone. A lot of the factors that lead to romantic feelings are at play in the workplace: Competency, confidence, personality, social skills, etc. You get a feeling for who the people are before you get involved.
Which are all really good things.
Unfortunately, this sometimes means nasty break ups and bringing personal stuff to work. That can't be avoided...
So what are we to do?
I say go for it, if the object of your desire closely matches your ideal. Don't just hook up or attempt a fling or try a relationship with someone you aren't mad for.
I saw this at my morning news show as well. I agree that its better to keep work and romance separate. I enjoyed the slideshows. I think you should try hit on all the women on your department, you would build the wrong reputation
It's definitely not a good idea especially if things end badly, but I can definitely see why it happens - you spend a majority of your time at work, even moreso if you work in IT and many relationships come down to proximity and familiarity.
I met my wife at work, 19 years ago. It wasn't a data center though and we only worked together for a short time. Office romances can go well under the right circumstances but they can go horribly wrong under others. I've seen a few examples of both.
I guess it depends on the office/company. I met my wife at a large company working in a department that could have qualified as it's own small/medium business. If you're in a company with less than 25 employees I wouldn't even try dating inside the office. There is no where to hide if things go wrong.
True. Before you go into a relationship, it sounds bad or mechanical, but you really have to consider the consequences if the relationship fails. This is why it's almost always a bad idea to go out (or worse, sleep around) with the boss...
SaneIT has a point. If the company you work in is small, then chances are any relationship you have will affect everyone else in it. Not a very smart move, career-wise.
I like the way you think. It's one thing to be attracted to someone but another to be in a relationship that can survive working together and not letting personal issues bleed over into the work environment. I think that's why the military has a code of conduct that covers relationships. They know that bringing your personal life to work with you can make for bad situations. With all the sexual harassment awareness that companies were doing in the late 90's I'm amazed that anyone would even attempt to date in the work place any more.
I think romance at workplace is the wild idea i usually tend to go for. But i have to admit a little mixing of pleasure with business is definitely inevitable in these cases. Now i prefer to date outside office because that way you can truly leave work back when you're with that special someone and there's is a better separation of business..from pleasure. Though If you're secretly crushing on a co-worker it has a change to bring down your performance as you can't help being distracted, so ask her out. It's always upto the individual how he takes the two things along.
You have a point, Taimoor, but I guess you also have to weigh things out in your head, and not just go with what your emotions tell you. Like all other stuff, relationships, whether they are just beginning or are already ending, have consequences. It would be a shame if you had to work elsewhere because of it.
Obviously we should weigh our options and act responsible but things like love cannot always be planned. I have experienced dating a co-worker and although exact professionalism couldn't be maintained between us around the clock, romance in the air was a morale booster. This might not always be true, if your love life takes a toll on your work or vice versa, you have to stop , think and re-organize your life. : - )
I think dating a coworker can get awkward if the staff finds out, because I wouldn't want to be a topic of gossip. It can also be awkward if they do know. I wouldn't want everyone in my business. I prefer to keep my personal life separate from my business life. However, I think dating a coworker can be a great way to meet someone. Most couples that I know met each other from their places of work. It makes sense since that is where you spend most of your time.
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